The 100 Most Hated People in America

Happy New Year America. If you think like me, you ranked #7* on the list of most hated Americans. What is #7? Why, the tea party of course! No one seems to get that “we” are an “ungroup,” and not a party at all. I accidentally stumbled upon it yesterday as I sat staring down the new year with total ambivalence, dreaming about winning the HGTV dream home in Stowe, Vermont as a way to erase the pain of having to face another year exactly in the same place we were one year ago. I am so unprepared for 2011 emotionally that I couldn’t even focus to write this blog yesterday, though I was determined to feel that I was doing something (anything) productive.

So back to my fantasy of imagining my new home awarded me by HGTV’s David Bromstad or Candice Olsen—I decided to google Stowe, Vermont to see if I would be living near Ben and Jerry or Clooney and Crosby. Before the word “conservative” tumbled off my keypad, I was quickly bombarded with enraged blog posts, article analysis and comments using language I had been taught that you never write lest you want to see it published on the front page of the New York Times. Where are Frank Capra and Irving Berlin when we need them?

The standards of decorum and a tendency toward kindness have all but disappeared in this country. For all of the writers I truly appreciate, there are thousands more who poison respectful discourse with a typing tongue that contradicts their very assertion that they operate from intelligent reason and I from irrational assumption. In fact, the many blog posts I scanned before throwing up my arms in frustration contained no substance at all and were filled with more expletives than college level words. The one thing these angry blogmobs lack is any specific argument to back up the justification for their rage. I find it so hard to believe that for all I watch and read that any of these folks could actually watch, read and truly know anything about the people they attack outside of what they hear from friends who tell them how to feel, believe and think.

Maybe next year, the Tea Party will be #1. I’ll consider the position at #1 a sure sign of “progress” in the right direction. As for 2012? My dream ticket taking today as a snapshot would be the three “Rs”—Ryan (#39), Rubio (#24) and Romney (#23) but only if he promises not to try that healthcare thing again. For press secretary, I’d love to see Michelle Malkin (#6) and when she is out sick, Dennis Miller (not on the list—yet!)

*to find the article, google “100 Americans the Left hates Most”

It's Dawn in America—Morning comes in 2012!

Here I sit with a glass of red wine (which is most certainly not the same thing as marijuana), my de-laminating MacBook, and Glenn Beck. Fresh off a 26 day Founding of America tour in August/September with our 4 children, and having endured all of 2010 with NO income save it for family support, selling off things in garage sales and on Craig's list and Ebay, we ARE the very Americans that MSNBC loves to hate.

We are BROKE, hopeless and fighting for our life. We are in our mid-40s with four young children with every debt paid off—not settled— and just this house, which has lost over $150,000 of its value in the past 3 and a half years (thank you, Barney Frank), which I have tried repeatedly to refinance "can't prove income" and then modify as a last resort—I'm on attempt 4, 6 or 8—I can't remember because I've been on the phone SO much with our mortgage holder and have had to provide documentation that they either lost or said they didn't receive SO many times, my head is spinning. Still, on election day, November 2nd, we have NO answer. We have paid our mortgage on time EVERY month. We are NOT late. And there is NO help for us.

This summer, I took one of those "underemployed" jobs you hear about—you know, the ones you're supposed to take to "do the right thing." I, with an MBA and entrepreneurial degree, began delivering pizzas. For 4 months of work, I earned less than $2,000. But I didnt' go on welfare. If you're wondering how I afforded the U.S. History trip, that came from selling ANY valuables, furnishings, books, dvds and other clutter I could find in a $1,400 garage sale. Sounds like a luxurious trip, eh? No, by the kindness of our friends across the country, we were able to travel and stay with them and only use motels/hotels twice on our journey. It is a trip my children (and we) will never forget. And it was one that I was bound and determined to do THIS year—while we were still healthy, still an intact family and still had at least a glimmer of hope left that things would get better.

Today is the day. I have sat back and watched the sparring, the maligning, the insults. I have been unfriended on Facebook for stating my views while tolerating the intolerant views of others. I have become unafraid to tell my neighbors to vote, to hand out constitutions, to re-learn and challenge the docents, the curators from Mt. Vernon and Monticello, to guides in Boston, to rangers in Philadelphia to answer my difficult and probing questions on the accuracy of our history represented on their tours and in their museums. Yet, still I watch as the media calls me and my fellow American voters "stupid" or the last acceptable word "old."

Before I close out this blog today and watch tonight's election results with my husband and four boys, I want to cite an article I found two days ago. As if the names we were called weren't enough during the course of the past year and a half, this writer, Robert W. Stock, states that "The Tea Party Skews Old." If you see this writer's picture, it is even more vexing—he looks to be, um, well, old himself! Without posting the article here, he basically states that most members of the tea party are white and old, and uses that as a reason to discredit them—of course, he then asserts that it is their "age" that makes them closed minded, racist, sexist and that they are afraid of change. But it is really interesting that at the end of the blog, there is no statistic given for how many of these "old, white" voters helped elect Barack Obama in 2008. Instead, the blog states that "the totals for white voters 65 and older were right in line with the votes of white voters in other age groups except the youngest. The old white voters were no more—and no less—prejudiced, in their voting at least, than younger generations."

So, are you confused? I'm not. Old, white people elected President Obama. And those same people, because they were smart enough to see that he wasn't who they thought he was, have rejected him overwhelmingly as has most of this nation. Once again, the far left progressives just cannot figure out WHO the tea party is. And that is because the tea party is NOT a party. It is a movement. It is a random association of like minded individuals who are united over a common cause. The tolerant left who now not only hates me for being a non pot smoking, highly educated mother of 4 who wishes to be HOME with her children to both raise AND educate them on one income, hates me for voting to get government OUT OF THE WAY so capitalism as defined by our founders, is restored to this country. They say I'm "backwards," "old fashioned," "afraid of change." Please—I'm not 83. I'm in my prime but I FEEL like I'm 83 because of what THEY have done to my country. They hate me for educating my own children, using incandescent lightbulbs, mowing my lawn, buying the occasional Happy Meal, shopping at Walmart so my children are clothed and fed for less because we have LESS to work with, taking a shower once a week (yea, I'm a mother of 4) with good water flow and now they also want to take away the "property tax" deduction because it "costs Congress 1.3 billion dollars." Excuse me? That money isn't theirs. It is mine. And they can't have it. So for tonight, America is saying to Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and a host of 2nd string progressives that we are TIRED of working for YOU. We don't have a perfect roster of candidates to replace you right now. But that isn't the issue. The issue is to begin where we are and finish the job in 2012 when America will be restored to the people or go the way of Rome!

Don't sit there. This is dawn in America! If you want to make it 'till the morning, get off the couch and vote!

Qualified, Schmolified!

This is for every journalist, pundit, talk show host who routinely asks in their predictably condescending tone, is Sarah Palin qualified to be president? I'd like to remind Americans of the following.

The qualifications to be president of the United States are (U.S. Constitution, Article II, Section 1),

1. Natural born citizen

2. 35 years old

(not to mention a best selling author, courageous "quitter" who gave up her position as governor to intentionally support and get OTHERS elected through her new found status as a champion of conservative causes—carpe diem—governor of the largest state in our union with a 70% approval rating BEFORE anyone knew who she was and certainly before the media descended on Wasilla and tried everything in their arsenal to discredit her family, her speaking style, her hairstyle, her wardrobe, her lifestyle, her college education, her character, her record and her credibility.)

There is one very important "qualification" to be president in my book that is more important than grades in school, an impressive vocabulary, a law degree, and a pedigree family and that is leadership. Sarah Palin (I know it's hard to remember) didn't SEEK fame. It came to her. She seized the moment and used her new position to have an effect on American government. She is a modern day hero. She gave up elected power to help others make a difference as a private citizen. So to watch the media constantly berate her and ask at the same time, "is Sarah Palin qualified to be president?" is ludicrous. Perhaps someone should show them the Ronald Reagan campaign coverage. I'm pretty sure someone thought that Ronald Reagan's only qualification to be president was starring in "Bedtime for Bonzo."

As a woman, you probably presume that I must be infatuated with Sarah Palin and that she can do "no wrong" and of course, you must presume I agree with EVERYTHING that she believes and supports. Not so. I look at the whole and am never a one issue voter. That being said, I would love to see a woman president in my lifetime but not just any woman. A conservative woman. A woman who would actually invite regular Americans to the white house for dinner, one that would actually cook there from time to time and who just might fire the chef because they were too expensive, and one who might decide that turning the White House pond "green" for St. Patricks Day was a frivolous expense. If that president turns out to be Palin or someone like her, male OR female, then America might truly be restored to her people and governed by a true public servant.

Remember in November, Mr. Smith!

Oh please! I woke up at 5:30am to watch Norah O'Donnell discuss how "Sarah Palin won't go on any other networks but Fox" and went on to say that Fox (they're favorite punching bag) is "manipulating" and swaying the vote in the country. Because it can't possibly be because intelligent and well read (not "dumb") Americans have followed Fox BECAUSE they SEE with their own eyes and hear with their own ears how CNN and MSNBC spin stories and tell 1/2 truths about everyone from politicians to the public to assert their liberal and progressive points of view. Even Joe Scarborough, the ONLY person on Morning Joe I actually enjoy, got into the act and belittled Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle as "unfit" for office. And that was all before my morning coffee.

I am now at the point where I am laughing instead of trembling. I am now watching the "Norah O'Donnells" and the "Keith Olbermanns" and the "Aaron Sorkins" and the "Oliver Stones" and all of the other pundits, guests, commentators—oh, and don't get me started on Eliot Spitzer. Have we forgotten the prostitution thing? I mean, really. Is THIS the best they've got on CNN to go up against Bill O'Reilly? Really?

So tonight's blog centers around my aggravation about the hysteria over "campaign contributions" and the mystery surrounding the sudden success of outsider candidates that Americans are supporting. Apparently, these educated people just can't figure out that we are indeed FED UP with big government and are going to, YIKES!, actually vote out the incumbants in BOTH parties and put "real" "old fashioned" people, who are flawed and continue to fight the machine anyway–from Linda McMahon to Christine O'Donnell. It couldn't just be because we DO get it, could it? No, of course not. It couldn't be because every day Americans are sending in donations in droves to corporations and private PACS to HELP candidates, could it? Someone needs to remind these people that corporations and companies are full of what? Oh yeah, PEOPLE! As in "we the people." I don't care WHO is giving the money to help get these candidates elected. I am smart enough to make my OWN decisions. I LISTEN to what the candidates say and I watch them on interviews—and if you're a journalist, you know that an interview isn't supposed to COST money. So you think I'm voting for candidates because of their billboards or ads or pamphlets stuck on my door or those annoying robo-calls? Have you heard the words "out of touch" lately? We (the people) are NOT out of touch. The left and their media are.

I, for one, could care less, WHO contributes to EITHER side's campaign. We live in a capitalist society. It is laughable that when the left has George Soros and Warren Buffet, the Clinton empire, Charlie Rangel (remember all of the congress people who have BECOME millionaires on OUR tax dollars), and Bill Gates, are we really worried about "corporate contributions" tainting our elections? I think I'd rather worry about voter fraud—as in illegal immigrants voting (remember Acorn?). I'd rather worry about the Union's corrupt influence. I'd rather worry about our veterans getting their absentee ballots on time. And if anyone thinks that "thinking" Americans now trust the failing U.S. Post Office to deliver ballots fairly and equitably, then I suggest you have your own "smart" head examined.

After tonight's interview about "campaign disclosure" and her promise that Harry Reid will be in charge of the Senate, I just cannot wait to see Penny Lee eat crow. Her interviews on the O'Reilly Factor along with the fast talking and full of it, dazzle you with his shiny smile, Mark Lamont Hill double speak, double standards, ethical quagmires that require a rewind button to unravel due to so many tongue tied knots of reason, just keep us Americans engaged, excited and emboldened.

Last year, we tea partiers were called fringe, extreme and crazy. Today, I routinely see pundits and broadcasters actually USE the term "tea baggers" freely and without shame as a proper title for this grass roots swelling of Americans, such as myself and my family, who began in complete uncertainty asserting our views and feelings that something was amiss in America.

It's funny to now see these same people suddenly saying that "the polls show Americans are fed up with BOTH parties." Gee, Norah, isn't that what WE the "astroturf" tea partiers SAID last year on April 15th? Oh, that's right, you weren't covering the events. There were only a "few hundred" there.

I've got news for CNN and MSNBC and Joy Behar and Bill Maher and all of you. I WATCH. I READ. I educate my own young. I am married for 20 years and I haven't cheated with a prostitute. I haven't ever taken an illegal drug in my life. I do not work for a pharmaceutical company nor a corporation. I don't have health care because I can't afford it. My husband has been unemployed for 10 months (this time) and we have NO retirement because, rather than go on welfare, we are determined to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and FIGHT for the American Dream.

I cannot wait for this election. While it won't solve OUR problems personally, to see Americans give Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Maxine Waters, Harry Reid, Charlie Rangel, and all of the other corrupt robber baron public "takers" that have told US to eat cake while they robbed me, my husband and my children of their American dream while allowing illegal immigrants to have free babies, and get on welfare in this nation and have created a class of entitlement minded Americans to dumb us down—through the public school "we know better than you" education system on how to parent, how to limit ones use of any energy or resources while YOU use ALL of the luxuries by taking OUR money, your days are numbered.

My hope, having had to deliver pizzas and make cupcakes this year while trying to stay above water and about to take another job while I STILL educate my kids, is that YOU will know what it is like to be UNDEREMPLOYED.

The greatest days for America lie ahead. I know my family and I are NOT alone. I know that people like me are eliminating ALL debt. I know people like me are listening to Dave Ramsey and finally getting SMART about money. I know he's right too—because "experts" hate Dave Ramsey. But the "people" love him. I can't wait to have a 0 fico score and never have to go to a bank or loan officer again for money. We will very soon have a middle class again. This government (along with many before them) has tried to kill us off to create their utopian entitlement society but right now, in many homes across the nation, I FEEL a genuine spirit of defiance, of a fight, of a silent war to take back our property, secure a future for our children, and re-learn our own history to make sure it is not obliterated or worse, forgotten. There is a return to learning about our founders and who they REALLY were, not some revisionist historian's "assumption" about what they believed. We are the biggest threat to progressives. We are the true Americans for progress. Progress to recapture the American Dream and its spirit, to restore and cherish those American traditions that made this nation great. We have absolute respect for our communities and give local support. We don't ask for the limelight. We don't ask for press coverage. We have love and admiration for immigrants, yes, but those who fight and do everything they can to become LEGAL and affirmed citizens of America, who learn our traditions and customs and, most importantly, the language that we speak, read and write. We love people of all orientations, religions and practices as long as they do not seek to harm us in a "collective" way, putting into practice a socalist agenda in the name of the "greater good" which is intended to trample individual rights. We are a mix of conservatives, moderates, and libertarians. We want power restored to the people and a decentralized government—not anarchy.

America—it's a little over two weeks until these mid-term elections. It is YOUR duty to get off the couch, drive to a polling place and VOTE. It is YOUR duty to ignore the ads, the pundits, the rhetoric and the disgusting character assassinations. It is YOUR duty to understand that NO ONE is perfect. We have to work with what we have.

In that spirit, I am supporting Rick Perry for Governor? Why? Because given the alternative, there is no choice but Rick Perry, unless you want Obama in boots running Texas. And I, for one, having left California for Texas, can spot the better choice, even if it isn't the optimum choice. Rick Perry supported the tea party from day one. He isn't perfect (toll roads). He is an Eagle Scout. That is saying something in my book. I have seen him speak personally—away from the media—on behalf of the scouts. I moved to Texas because it is a fiscally sound state. He has been good for Texas. If there were a "new" fresh choice who wasn't a "truther, " they would have had my vote. Americans, we MUST think before we vote.

If someone does say what party they are on their sign, go find out WHAT they stand for—don't assume red means Republican and Blue means democrat. And don't assume that either title means ANYTHING. Listen to what they say, but more importantly, watch what they DO. If they have a record and they are an incumbant, get informed NOW. If they are new, watch what the incumbant does to them in their ads. The more scared the incumbant, the more likely I am to support the new person.

And lastly, go watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It will clear up everything!

From Golden State to Golden Haze—Or is it Daze?

I was unfriended today on Facebook. I know, you’ve been there. Today, I once again tried to counter another political diatribe from the left, state an alternative position to the same folks who publish never ending attacks on the tea party, ridicule powerful female political leaders, and of course, everyone’s usual favorite whipping network Fox News, which my past friend and his faithful followers love to call “Faux News.” That must have come from Keith Olbermann. They also like to call names. Favorite words I have been called indirectly or directly from this side when addressing just the ISSUES, are a “right wing nutjob,” “ignorant,” “uninformed,” “racist,” “bubble headed blonde,” “homophobe,” “comedienne” and of course, the all enduring “corporate and insurance company loving Republican.” Editors Note: I have no health insurance and I’m not employed by a corporation. I should be so lucky. Someone does need to remind these “progressives” who are for progress, except when, of course, it involves Sam Walton, that corporations were once mom and pop and grew because they were successful and able to hire more—you guessed it—people! And those people HIRE more people, create jobs, provide 401(k)s and if not overtaxed, create wealth in America and donate money to charity too. But now I’m sounding far too reasonable so I’ll stop.

On Facebook, I mostly confine my dine and dash visits to esoteric banter surrounding my day. Occasionally, I put out something cryptic (which those in the “know” will understand and others will wonder about). I have recently even published some photos of my creative work. On a serious note though, Facebook has been my only outlet sometimes to scream out in pain when a phonecall isn’t possible. Once again, it is always interesting who responds and who posts about their grand lobster dinner or vacation as another life is crumbling on the previous line. A lot of people would rather use social media to talk about how “great” their life is” while never commenting on anything too “heavy” unless, of course, it involves them. And then again, if you only get on once in a while, people are offended that you haven't responded. Everyone makes assumptions on Facebook. It is a grand experiment and, I love every moment there—the good, the bad and the ugly. I LOVE to communicate. And I am unafraid to do so.

So this dear friend, who writes an amazing amount of hateful comments regarding anything remotely conservative, often posts videos from his favorite network “MSNBC” and/or my other favorite The Huffington Post. I don’t think his biggest worry should be what Sarah Palin is reading or how authentic Glenn Beck may be. (I have yet to see any network counter the facts that Beck puts out by the way). Maybe that's why so many showed up on the D.C. mall on 8/28. Can't wait to see who Colbert and Stewart pull in. I think someone needs to tell my friend that the only people who still cling to MSNBC can’t handle the truth, which is why that network spends all of its time giving Fox News even more publicity with its “worst person of the week” feature with hysterically unflattering photos —predictably, always conservatives or pundits from Fox News. Perhaps someone should tell MSNBC that it might be driving more and more dumb people to Fox News. We wouldn’t want that, would we? Doh!

In his last post talking about the glorification of legalizing pot in California (my home state), I decided to challenge him by asserting that I was sad to see the marijuana signs all over Los Angeles the last time I visited. I mentioned that I didn’t want California to become Amsterdam and it was beginning to look a bit like Bladerunner. I didn’t call him a name. I just made my point as I always do, to counter his exhuberance over the Colbert/Prop #19 fervor. I even mentioned personal experience with the sign sightings. He denied any existed so I went to a link and posted it urging him to check it out. I was sincere. I hear they have cracked down on this practice but believe me, when I went there in May, they were everywhere. It's really easy to SEE things when you've stepped away from them. Remember Mary Poppins? "Sometimes people can't see past the end of their own nose?" Since moving to Texas, I have visited California nine times and every time I go back, I see the decline of western civilization. I feel the potholes more, see the traffic more, see the yellow air more, see the rude drivers more and, yep, see a lot of self absorption that I was told we had, but didn't see when I lived there because it was my only experience. He accused conservatives of being “ethnocentric” in his post. Now I know this once again refers to the “racist” issue. But I consider people who are this thin skinned about their own cultural issues while they lash out at others, the true ethnocentrics.

They want to believe that their viewpoint is superior to others and that they are living an ideal life as their city and their economy crumbles around them. They want their children in private school and dine at the finest restaurants while they want YOU to limit your showers, use less power and drive smaller cars. They travel first class. They cut in line. They get free swag but decry the unfairness of life for the "little people." They would never let their children near drugs but want to legalize them for yours. In many cases, the average Californian's mindset is that life just doesn’t exist anywhere else. I know. I am a native. I observed this attitude my whole life. New Yorkers hated California but tolerated it. Californians thought all southerner's were racist—thanks public education system. And midwesterners were boring. When I was a tour guide at Universal Studios, one of our trainers constantly emphasized that we taylor our spiel so the "Iowa" guest could understand us. It's funny now that I spend a lot of time these days arguing with people who weren’t even born in California, who want to marginalize me for MY views on my own state. I think I have earned the right to express my perspective—especially when the intent is to motivate others to get angry enough about it too so they will fix it instead of bury their heads in the sand. I also wonder if I were writing about California while still LIVING there, if I would be called a “California basher” or a modern day “Paul Revere.”

It’s hard to say. Here’s what I DO know. There are three types of Californians as I see it today. 1. Progressives—I’m talking the hardcore Haight/Ashbury, Cloward and Piven, dope smoking hippies who never grew up. This is the group that the democrat legislature is now wooing with the pot vote in order not to lose their seats this November–wake up and smell the hash! 2. The fingers in their ears saying “la la la la la” Californian who is so busy holding down a job, putting their kid in a lottery system for a charter school and enduring the 4 hour daily commute that you cannot blame them for self medicating with Dancing with the Stars and The Kardashians at night. Someone needs to let these people know that they must disconnect from the matrix and can no longer ignore the crumbling walls of Rome around them. 3. Finally, there is the “waiting for Superman” Californian, native or not, who has watched their state slip from the Golden State into a Golden haze but doesn’t really believe that they can make a difference. After all, every time they vote, the courts overturn their will and call them names in the process. It's not easy being a Californian today.

Barbara Boxer and Maxine Waters must go. California, do you really want Jerry Brown (Linda Ronstadt’s ex) to be your governor? Really, California. The nation’s future is in your hands. You were the 5^th largest economy when I left. Now, you’re 7^th. Your schools are teaching English as a second language and want all children to believe that illegal immigration is a-okay. I hope you don't believe that year round school is the solution as Arnie Duncan would have you believe. If you think your kids are endoctrinated now, just wait until the family has little or no influence over what they children are taught. The state will be happy to educate them to be "green citizens of tomorrow" so they can tell their parents "who don't know what they know" (thank you Al Gore) how many garbage bags they can use and what lightbulbs to buy." Please remember in November that your current governor (yeah, I voted for him) wanted to sell state landmarks to make money. He’s not a true conservative. We were all fleeced.

You don’t have “perfect” leaders running in this November race either. But they're all you've got. You MUST choose the ones with the most cost conscious conservative values possible regardless of their personal quirks and once and for all oust these corrupt politicians who have kept their own backsides warm, their pockets lined with your money, and who just cannot take enough from you as you serve them, for years! And remember that no Californian should ever call Barbara Boxer, ma’am. It is much too honorable a title for this senator. Remember Nancy Pelosi just a few weeks ago? She said that unemployment benefits were the best stimulous for job creation. Nancy Pelosi is worth 50 million dollars. Now, if this doesn’t give you hope that if someone this dumb can grow up to be speaker of the house, then surely, Californians are capable of saving their state. Send Nancy Pelosi back to San Francisco. Keep Gavin Newsome at home. If you want to call someone a racist, call out Maxine Waters, who on national television, used the word “tea bagger” repeatedly to talk about the tea party movement and mentions color every time she is in front of a camera. And never forget Nancy Pelosi’s giant gavel and “astroturf” comments in the infancy of the emerging grass roots movement that has so threatened Washington, D.C., that an angry and frustrated electorate are considered threats to national security. Can you see what is happening?

It is time for Mr. Smith to go to Washington—or at least to Sacramento. If you believe the sun rises and sets in your Golden State, then put your money where your mouth is and get involved. It MUST begin in California and work all the way across this great country. So as I ponder being unfriended over my friend’s offense that I saw a lot of marijuana signs in California that saddened me as “California bashing,” I say this. I didn’t leave California. California left me. I SAW where it was going. I was waiting for Superman to fix it too. I wasn’t that Superman. I hope someone there will step up and save this state. So please don’t hate when someone has the courage to point out the flaws of California, not because they hate the STATE but because they hate what the statists have DONE to it. My intent in anything I write about California is to squeeze some Visine into the bloodshot eyes of the dazed and confused public so they’ll wake up in time to clear the air. The politicians and progressives are blowing smoke up your behind. If Californans keep electing the same corrupt leaders (I use that term loosely) to rule in Sacramento, then Californians will not only get the government they deserve, but they just might finally need that marijuana for medicinal purposes. And between you and me, I think it’s exactly what this government wants. A medicated public is easier to manipulate. After all, there’s a reason it’s called dope.

Christmas in July!

I've neglected my blog. When I began in earnest a few months ago, I couldn't keep my hands off the keyboard. I experienced swells of inspiration that interrupted my daily routine—heck, I don't even have a routine—they just interrupted the heavily distracted "mom, can you get me this and that" responsibilities of my day and I was disciplined enough to heed their call. Life can change on a dime.

Today is July 3rd and I want to write about the 4th. And I will. But first, a story that will weave as always and then come back to the point. The hero in the story is my dad. He was supposed to come visit last Christmas and then, as life would cruelly intervene, he received the news that none of us could comprehend. After a toothache wouldn't heal, it was discovered that he had a rare form of cancer. This diagnosis occurred the first week in October just after he and my mom had finally committed to come and had booked their flight.

The blow was crushing on every level. There was the immediate shock, then sadness and anger towards this dread disease getting in the way of us finally having two weeks together (my parents have never spent two weeks with me). Then, there was the realization that "this was it." There wouldn't BE a next time, another Christmas together. It was the fear of this loss of the future that might not ever be. It sucked the joy out of last Christmas as we travelled there for the "last" this and that before his surgery. After he survived that, we came home to our own problems—mainly the new and ongoing saga of my husband ending up jobless AND owed 1/5 of his annual salary for 2009 by a company that "ran out of venture capital" and neglected to tell him as he continued to work there out of state at the beginning of 2010—you can see I have a lot to write about. But that is for another day.

I have experienced some loss and pain in my life, more than some and much less than others. In trying to have a family, I lost four of those little "human becomings" and each one presented me with a slap upside the head that felt like a robber had seized an unfulfilled dream, stolen a future that would never be. There is an emptiness that comes from this type of loss that cannot be described. It has to be experienced to be understood. When I look back on some of the sadness and struggles I've had in my life, it has been an unwelcome blessing. I never would have developed the empathy I have for others would it not have been for them. And, though I have always appreciated life more than most that I see—meaning that I do stop to smell the roses—literally—my husband and kids have seen me do it.

Today I am stopping to smell the roses again. It is 6:30am and everyone is asleep. I felt that familiar overwhelming urge to write. No interruptions today. I'm about to ice two cakes for some customers in my new found part time career as The Cupcake Queen. One will be an American flag cake for my neighbor; the other, a little luau themed hibiscus "smash" cake for a little girl's first birthday. Both celebrate a beginning, a hope, a remembrance. In a few minutes, my husband and eldest son will wake up. They will then dutifully post the American Flag in front yards all over our neighborhood to honor our flag and the 4th of July. My son has been doing this for the past several months for all national holidays. He also posts the flags at the entrance to our subdivision outside of Austin, Texas. I'm proud of him. He reminds me of someone—my dad. I only wish my former boy scout dad could be here this morning to join him.

But not to worry. Dad will only be about five hours too late. I'll take that. Because after a few more glorious hours of anticipation, a long awaited dream will finally come true. My dad, ten months after being diagnosed with a cancer that we thought would take him within a few months, will be here with us for a week. I've had his room ready for two years. It is stocked with robes, slippers, teapot, towels, and photos of him and mom are everywhere. Our home smells like the Grand Floridian on the day of our honeymoon—yes, you'd have to have been there to know! Our family will be complete today. Tomorrow, we celebrate America. Today, I celebrate my dad! You might say it's Christmas in July!

Let them eat cake?

It's funny how a blog can seemingly be about one thing and a topic can crop up that seemingly does not relate. Like this sudden collection of cakes on my "no tread thread." What on earth do they have to do with anything?

Let me connect some buttercream dots! Years ago, when I was in high school, my "dream" was to be an entertainer. I grew up watching Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and my favorite dancer was Vera Ellen (White Christmas–oh, that nerve tap!). I, of course, also loved Danny Kaye who looked so much like my grandfather and was just as silly. When I entered college, there wasn't a major for me so I chose Psychology with a Dance minor and rapidly switched to Radio-TV-Film which was the "hard to get into" department at my school. I figured that if I got into television production, perhaps I could work my way around and yet still have that "safe, fall back position behind the scenes if things didn't work out."

During this time, musicals weren't in vogue, Donny and Marie were passé and there was no American Idol. I don't even think the Gong Show was on anymore. It was a virtual vacuum of theatrical culture (even before we sunk into the much higher brow "reality series" format (jest) in my world at the time. I quickly gave up on my dreams of being that multi-talented singing, dancing, acting "star" and eventually did work in the television and post production world.

But, here's the rub. When I was in high school, I went to a job counselor, who gave me a test of what I "should be" when I graduated. The test said I should be an "interior designer," a vocation which I dismissed as nonsense, laughed off and quickly forgot. I don't remember if "baker" was on that list of the three top professions. But all these years later, this is what I've learned. Who you are at 8 or 9, is probably who you are meant to be. When I was young, I didn't play with Barbie dolls as much as I designed elaborate HOMES for them with stacked books and gauzy curtains. I remember creating fascinating scenarios of what they would DO in those homes.

During my early childhood, I wrote plays and I made stuff and sold it at school. I once baked and painted at least 50 clay pins in shapes including milkshakes with striped straws, french fries, cherry pies, even a tap shoe—you may not remember this but pins were VERY popular during this time and many young kids wore them as accessories. I sold them for a dollar or so each. Later, I learned to crochet from my great grandmother and made holiday bell pins, ice skate pins—you name it—I sold it! I was a born marketer and entrepreneur and didn't know it.

My parents didn't identify this in me. They didn't educate me on what they saw. They were young. They did the sensible thing, got jobs and to this day are in the same field. My mother has worked for the same company since the age of 19. She is so accustomed to the golden handcuffs, that she has zero tolerance for uncertainty and has lived her life in constant fear of losing her job all of my childhood and into my adult years. I, too, became fearful and sacrificed my BIG dreams in search of the "safe job" that would be more "secure." But as it turned out, my generation did not have the same chances of finding lifelong employment with one company that my parents' generation did. I wish someone had coached me to be in business for myself when I was 20 instead of at 40.

So what of all this baking? As a young girl, being raised in the 70s and 80s, I was literally conditioned and led to BELIEVE that girls were the "same" as boys and needed to have the same "opportunities" as boys and that we were in a "war" of "equal rights" with boys. This was so emblazoned in me that I vowed if I ever had kids, I would NEVER stop working. In fact, I never even thought of BEING a mother or enjoyed being around young children (no contempt; I just didn't fawn over babies the way some of my female counterparts did) until I was already married and suddenly my maternal desire just kicked in. I remember liking Home Economics and learning to cook and sew but it wasn't "cool" to like this class if you were a girl. It was "predictable," "pedestrian," and "old fashioned." You were supposed to "want" to do woodshop and athletics—which I did not enjoy at all.

And so while I actually "liked" baking, making things with my own hands and designing beautiful environments in which to live, I looked for a "job" instead of a career that I would love for life. I dismissed the fact that I could love a domestic career in interior design. This relates completely to the social agenda of the public school's primary agenda to socialize girls to "not be feminine" and instead aspire to be more like "men." In my day (yep, I'm old), girls and boys have been conditioned to be the "same" on some education expert's slow road to hell paved with good intentions. Boys are now "not allowed to be boys" in school—i.e. run, play tag, play chase, get skinned knees and certainly not raise their voices. And girls are supposed to love math, engineering, science and all of those fields once not "encouraged" in girls in the dark ages of my generation—funny, I thought it was the generation before mine that was in the dark ages. May you live long enough to learn that you just don't know what you don't know.

I once read that Colonel Sanders didn't create Kentucky Fried Chicken until he was in his 70s. In the past week, at the age of 44, I have found myself almost locked in the kitchen making cupcake after cupcake and ultimately, a custom fairy princess cake that I took on for an excited and supportive client—simply by just DOING and teaching myself what I had a passion for but never got paid or professionally trained to do. It wasn't even that intentional. I just started "doing it."

The same goes for my unofficial "interior design" passion. My home looks like a million bucks but it is all design on a dime. I wouldn't know a designer label piece of furniture if you showed me but I can make $5,000 look like $20,000 any day of the week and I NEVER pay retail—except for a really good cupcake book! Because it is effortless and intuitive for me, I don't generally think my gifts for design, baking and organization (yep, I've got that gene too) are "marketable" skills because they are EASY for me. But as I get older and more people gently encourage me and say "you missed your calling," I realize that I am more like my grandmother and great grandmother than I ever realized and rather than run away in fear, I am running to my kitchen, my garden and my Ballard catalogs. I'm loving every domestic minute. I've got 4 boys (5 if you count my husband) and I let them eat cake (as long as I'm the one baking it!)