Let them eat cake?

It's funny how a blog can seemingly be about one thing and a topic can crop up that seemingly does not relate. Like this sudden collection of cakes on my "no tread thread." What on earth do they have to do with anything?

Let me connect some buttercream dots! Years ago, when I was in high school, my "dream" was to be an entertainer. I grew up watching Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and my favorite dancer was Vera Ellen (White Christmas–oh, that nerve tap!). I, of course, also loved Danny Kaye who looked so much like my grandfather and was just as silly. When I entered college, there wasn't a major for me so I chose Psychology with a Dance minor and rapidly switched to Radio-TV-Film which was the "hard to get into" department at my school. I figured that if I got into television production, perhaps I could work my way around and yet still have that "safe, fall back position behind the scenes if things didn't work out."

During this time, musicals weren't in vogue, Donny and Marie were passé and there was no American Idol. I don't even think the Gong Show was on anymore. It was a virtual vacuum of theatrical culture (even before we sunk into the much higher brow "reality series" format (jest) in my world at the time. I quickly gave up on my dreams of being that multi-talented singing, dancing, acting "star" and eventually did work in the television and post production world.

But, here's the rub. When I was in high school, I went to a job counselor, who gave me a test of what I "should be" when I graduated. The test said I should be an "interior designer," a vocation which I dismissed as nonsense, laughed off and quickly forgot. I don't remember if "baker" was on that list of the three top professions. But all these years later, this is what I've learned. Who you are at 8 or 9, is probably who you are meant to be. When I was young, I didn't play with Barbie dolls as much as I designed elaborate HOMES for them with stacked books and gauzy curtains. I remember creating fascinating scenarios of what they would DO in those homes.

During my early childhood, I wrote plays and I made stuff and sold it at school. I once baked and painted at least 50 clay pins in shapes including milkshakes with striped straws, french fries, cherry pies, even a tap shoe—you may not remember this but pins were VERY popular during this time and many young kids wore them as accessories. I sold them for a dollar or so each. Later, I learned to crochet from my great grandmother and made holiday bell pins, ice skate pins—you name it—I sold it! I was a born marketer and entrepreneur and didn't know it.

My parents didn't identify this in me. They didn't educate me on what they saw. They were young. They did the sensible thing, got jobs and to this day are in the same field. My mother has worked for the same company since the age of 19. She is so accustomed to the golden handcuffs, that she has zero tolerance for uncertainty and has lived her life in constant fear of losing her job all of my childhood and into my adult years. I, too, became fearful and sacrificed my BIG dreams in search of the "safe job" that would be more "secure." But as it turned out, my generation did not have the same chances of finding lifelong employment with one company that my parents' generation did. I wish someone had coached me to be in business for myself when I was 20 instead of at 40.

So what of all this baking? As a young girl, being raised in the 70s and 80s, I was literally conditioned and led to BELIEVE that girls were the "same" as boys and needed to have the same "opportunities" as boys and that we were in a "war" of "equal rights" with boys. This was so emblazoned in me that I vowed if I ever had kids, I would NEVER stop working. In fact, I never even thought of BEING a mother or enjoyed being around young children (no contempt; I just didn't fawn over babies the way some of my female counterparts did) until I was already married and suddenly my maternal desire just kicked in. I remember liking Home Economics and learning to cook and sew but it wasn't "cool" to like this class if you were a girl. It was "predictable," "pedestrian," and "old fashioned." You were supposed to "want" to do woodshop and athletics—which I did not enjoy at all.

And so while I actually "liked" baking, making things with my own hands and designing beautiful environments in which to live, I looked for a "job" instead of a career that I would love for life. I dismissed the fact that I could love a domestic career in interior design. This relates completely to the social agenda of the public school's primary agenda to socialize girls to "not be feminine" and instead aspire to be more like "men." In my day (yep, I'm old), girls and boys have been conditioned to be the "same" on some education expert's slow road to hell paved with good intentions. Boys are now "not allowed to be boys" in school—i.e. run, play tag, play chase, get skinned knees and certainly not raise their voices. And girls are supposed to love math, engineering, science and all of those fields once not "encouraged" in girls in the dark ages of my generation—funny, I thought it was the generation before mine that was in the dark ages. May you live long enough to learn that you just don't know what you don't know.

I once read that Colonel Sanders didn't create Kentucky Fried Chicken until he was in his 70s. In the past week, at the age of 44, I have found myself almost locked in the kitchen making cupcake after cupcake and ultimately, a custom fairy princess cake that I took on for an excited and supportive client—simply by just DOING and teaching myself what I had a passion for but never got paid or professionally trained to do. It wasn't even that intentional. I just started "doing it."

The same goes for my unofficial "interior design" passion. My home looks like a million bucks but it is all design on a dime. I wouldn't know a designer label piece of furniture if you showed me but I can make $5,000 look like $20,000 any day of the week and I NEVER pay retail—except for a really good cupcake book! Because it is effortless and intuitive for me, I don't generally think my gifts for design, baking and organization (yep, I've got that gene too) are "marketable" skills because they are EASY for me. But as I get older and more people gently encourage me and say "you missed your calling," I realize that I am more like my grandmother and great grandmother than I ever realized and rather than run away in fear, I am running to my kitchen, my garden and my Ballard catalogs. I'm loving every domestic minute. I've got 4 boys (5 if you count my husband) and I let them eat cake (as long as I'm the one baking it!)

Drop off the Cupcakes and no one gets hurt!

Sit back and fasten your seatbelts everyone. I'm back! Six weeks ago, I turned off the tube, put the books down and had to take care of some personal business that kept me from truly "caring" about the world imploding—as mine was imploding instead. Not that it's resolved, but it is under control for the moment. So I wondered if the inspiration to write would hit again and IF I would write at all on the topic of this blog, which is centered around the trampling of American liberty from every angle. My inspiration came today. Life never fails to present situations where I can either lie down and take it or stand up and fight. As a bullied teen, I can tell you that NOTHING gets my ire up like being bullied by a policy-packing, fake law citing bureaucrat.

As many of you who follow my blog or just "know me" know, I am the mother of four boys, ages 12, 8, 5 and recently turned 4. I, who attended private school for elementary education (and had a wonderful experience) and public school for middle school (and had a dreadful experience) and public high school (and had a mixed but mostly favorable experience) have become a home schooling mother in the past year. To prove to anyone who would write me off as an "uneducated nutjob," I put myself through graduate school at the Marshall School of Business at U.S.C. at a personal cost of $50,000, bought my own BMW convertible while there at the age of 28, have a an M.B.A. with an emphasis in marketing and entrepreneurial leadership and have never had student debt. I have also worked in some capacity since the age of 15—up until I began home schooling full time. Okay, credentials out of the way. If someone had told me I would be home schooling my children when I gave birth 12 years ago, I would have said they said they were nucking futs—I've never used that euphemism but hopefully the implications are that no one who knows me would have EVER seen this coming.

That being said, I still keep my toes in the public school system with my kindergartner—mostly because I don't think I could take on home schooling for the first year, three out of my four children, without jumping into an empty Austin lake. I naively told one of my very wise mentors in the home schooling world that I didn't think a child could be "screwed up" too badly in kindergarten and was okay with him learning to "walk the line" as long as it ended before they knocked his critical thinking skills and creativity out of him. (Last week, I met a home schooling mom who begged to differ—she told me her son learned to steal in kindergarten.)

Alas, I was willing to walk in both worlds. I was willing to still have "hope" that my beautiful neighborhood public school STILL had the "Texas" handle on common sense so long ago lost in my former state of California. After all, kindergartners were still allowed to dress up for Halloween here—(well they were until this past year), and I could still bring in homemade cupcakes for his birthday—(well, the homemade part is still okay). I could visit my child with the cupcakes for his birthday, set them out and even get a photo of my child with the cupcake. (Dare I mention that recently, parents did all of the above and read a story to the class—especially if it involved donating the birthday child's book to the public school?) Apparently, this is okay for some parents. But today, even though I was just bringing the cupcakes TO the classroom, it wasn't okay for ME. Let me explain.

My son's birthday is in the summer so his teacher decided to celebrate all summer birthdays in these last two weeks of school—the kids are doing so much work this week between class parties every other day (yes, that's sarcasm). I was given the date of May 26th to participate in this "unbirthday." Did I mention I have four children? Um, I have had much personal experience with the birthday protocols, rules, expectations, time limitations and any nuance you can think of surrounding "celebrations" in schools—which is precisely why I ONLY brought the cupcakes, no milk, no birthday plates, no goody bags—just the cupcakes, napkins and a camera for a quick snapshot to document the moment. The point was to be PRESENT with my son. It was important to HIM that I be there today. The school had other plans for me.

So there I am in the lobby this morning with my cupcakes all ready to go. Did I mention they were Cookie Monster? My son was so proud that he had personally stuffed the mini Chips-Ahoy cookies into his mouth as I decorated them with eyeballs and blue hair. They were red velvet too—truly, they were a sight to behold but I digress! Warning, run on sentence ahead—After the line of parents waiting for their approved badges to be printed after showing their driver's licenses to the administrative staff who KNOW them but are still "required by policy" to "check" their legitimacy to be present for the very teacher conferences they were invited to, I had waited about 10 minutes. So, I approached the front desk to inquire of the Vice Principal when my son's teacher's class had recess so I could deliver the cupcakes to the classroom and set them out for the kids to have upon their return.

At this time, without flinching, the Vice Principal said these words to me. "Mrs. Kirschner, you are not permitted to deliver cupcakes to the classroom per Texas state law which prohibits birthday parties. If you do, we will lose our funding." She went on to add that "Parents just leave them here and we take them for you." At this moment, what I WANTED to say was "show me the law." But what I said instead, to avoid conflict, was a feeble attempt at reason—like, "I'm not here for a birthday party; it's just a snack since he won't be here in the summer." And of course, I cited several examples of having "broken the law" in the past, having brought in cupcakes for every occasion one can think of during public school hours. She would have none of it and swiftly sent me on my way, taking my cupcake container like the Wicked Witch of the West took Toto. I calmly and respectfully walked out of the front office burning to get to the bottom of this "new law" that, with the Obama administration, I wouldn't have been surprised had passed, but had NOT heard of at all—I guess it could have passed while I was learning to read at home (more sarcasm).

I went home and found NOTHING in the Texas school law on bringing in cupcakes or treats for birthdays. However, I did find "Lauren's Law" which specifically SUPPORTED a parent's and/or grandparent's right to bring in foods that fall outside the nutritional guidelines on any birthdays or celebrations for their child. It stated that no school shall make policy that conflicts with that right.

I wrote back immediately to the principal and to my son's teacher. I requested that the teacher please take pictures of my son since I was not "allowed" to be there pursuant to a new "law" that I was waiting to get clarification on from the front office. My son's teacher did not write back. Teachers know not to challenge policy. The principal did not call and I spent the whole day waiting for a response either by phone or email. I called once mid-day and left a message too.

No call, no response. What came just an hour or so before school ended (and obviously by then, I had MISSED the occasion with my son) was a pat little paragraph from the Principal, quoting SquareMeals.com which uses lots of fancy acronyms to tell you what TYPES of foods are not allowed in public schools along with a nice little policy statement of "no more than 3 celebrations" being held during a school year. Did I miss something? That is policy, not law! And remember that little part in Lauren's Law, which is all about the parent's role in providing their child with an acknowledgement of a special day? Since I was simply bringing the "cupcakes" DURING snacktime, I wasn't even interfering or interrupting class instruction time.

It is now 6:37pm central Texas time. I have not been contacted by phone from either the principal or the vp. In light of the many grievances I have witnessed parents go through when they challenge the public schools on anything, I expect I will be told that "I must have misunderstood something." Here is what I have to say tonight. Whenever my or any other child commits ANY grievance against the school, whether it be a tardy, an absence, a playground altercation, I have to explain myself. I have to prove who I am to get into the school, to take my child out of school, to pick him up from school. I get paperwork requiring me to sign, affirm and acknowledge MY responsibility in any mishap.

So, in keeping with school policy since the public school technically works for ME, I am requiring that they be held accountable for causing me to miss a special day in my child's life, and further, for misrepresenting and falsely citing a Texas law that does not exist, for quoting a policy which is not consistently upheld, enforced nor reasonable, as stated in Lauren's Law, does not supercede my rights as a parent. Further, as it is a mere five days before "school's out for summer," I believe I am owed an apology for the proposterous timing of a pompous peacock puffing out her policy packed chest and thinking that I would quietly sulk away in patronized defeat.

Finally, I challenge anyone reading this blog to ask yourself how I might have been treated if I were in a business suit, having obviously taken a 1/2 day off work to come be with my child to honor his birthday "moment." I know the answer to this question. I look the part of a "stay at home" mom, wearing simple jeans, and a t-shirt, hair usually in a clip. I look like I've got "all the time in the world." We (stay-at-homes) get a lot of empty "lip service" about how noble we are, but are truly the last group in America that are a prime target for belittling, intimidation and bullying by an out of control school system that believes they know "better than us." They are wrong.

Moms rule, stupid policies drool and I'm too cool for public school!

Editor's Note: It is important for me to note that I am not a typical "public school hating" home schooler. I am an advocate for education and common sense. I am a concerned parent's best ally and stand beside anyone, public school parent or not, who recognizes and resists the ever increasing policies that are enacted in the school's (not our children's) best interest, separate them from and/or diminish the role of the parent and/or encourage a parent to defer to the expertise of the statist. With that, I hope my comments above do not offend. I recognize that most Americans do not feel that they could capably home school their child, cannot afford private school, didn't get the vouchers they wanted and are "stuck" trying to find the "best" public schools that they can. Progressives have masterfully manipulated parents into believing "they are not qualified to teach their own children" by design and by the ever growing power of the school boards and PTA to decide for our children what is best for them. I hope this changes but for now, I will remain vigilant in looking out for what is in my child's best interest. He is not a number. He is as individual as I am and in America (at least for now), the right of the individual still trumps the tyranny of the socialist collective. Period.