Drop off the Cupcakes and no one gets hurt!

Sit back and fasten your seatbelts everyone. I'm back! Six weeks ago, I turned off the tube, put the books down and had to take care of some personal business that kept me from truly "caring" about the world imploding—as mine was imploding instead. Not that it's resolved, but it is under control for the moment. So I wondered if the inspiration to write would hit again and IF I would write at all on the topic of this blog, which is centered around the trampling of American liberty from every angle. My inspiration came today. Life never fails to present situations where I can either lie down and take it or stand up and fight. As a bullied teen, I can tell you that NOTHING gets my ire up like being bullied by a policy-packing, fake law citing bureaucrat.

As many of you who follow my blog or just "know me" know, I am the mother of four boys, ages 12, 8, 5 and recently turned 4. I, who attended private school for elementary education (and had a wonderful experience) and public school for middle school (and had a dreadful experience) and public high school (and had a mixed but mostly favorable experience) have become a home schooling mother in the past year. To prove to anyone who would write me off as an "uneducated nutjob," I put myself through graduate school at the Marshall School of Business at U.S.C. at a personal cost of $50,000, bought my own BMW convertible while there at the age of 28, have a an M.B.A. with an emphasis in marketing and entrepreneurial leadership and have never had student debt. I have also worked in some capacity since the age of 15—up until I began home schooling full time. Okay, credentials out of the way. If someone had told me I would be home schooling my children when I gave birth 12 years ago, I would have said they said they were nucking futs—I've never used that euphemism but hopefully the implications are that no one who knows me would have EVER seen this coming.

That being said, I still keep my toes in the public school system with my kindergartner—mostly because I don't think I could take on home schooling for the first year, three out of my four children, without jumping into an empty Austin lake. I naively told one of my very wise mentors in the home schooling world that I didn't think a child could be "screwed up" too badly in kindergarten and was okay with him learning to "walk the line" as long as it ended before they knocked his critical thinking skills and creativity out of him. (Last week, I met a home schooling mom who begged to differ—she told me her son learned to steal in kindergarten.)

Alas, I was willing to walk in both worlds. I was willing to still have "hope" that my beautiful neighborhood public school STILL had the "Texas" handle on common sense so long ago lost in my former state of California. After all, kindergartners were still allowed to dress up for Halloween here—(well they were until this past year), and I could still bring in homemade cupcakes for his birthday—(well, the homemade part is still okay). I could visit my child with the cupcakes for his birthday, set them out and even get a photo of my child with the cupcake. (Dare I mention that recently, parents did all of the above and read a story to the class—especially if it involved donating the birthday child's book to the public school?) Apparently, this is okay for some parents. But today, even though I was just bringing the cupcakes TO the classroom, it wasn't okay for ME. Let me explain.

My son's birthday is in the summer so his teacher decided to celebrate all summer birthdays in these last two weeks of school—the kids are doing so much work this week between class parties every other day (yes, that's sarcasm). I was given the date of May 26th to participate in this "unbirthday." Did I mention I have four children? Um, I have had much personal experience with the birthday protocols, rules, expectations, time limitations and any nuance you can think of surrounding "celebrations" in schools—which is precisely why I ONLY brought the cupcakes, no milk, no birthday plates, no goody bags—just the cupcakes, napkins and a camera for a quick snapshot to document the moment. The point was to be PRESENT with my son. It was important to HIM that I be there today. The school had other plans for me.

So there I am in the lobby this morning with my cupcakes all ready to go. Did I mention they were Cookie Monster? My son was so proud that he had personally stuffed the mini Chips-Ahoy cookies into his mouth as I decorated them with eyeballs and blue hair. They were red velvet too—truly, they were a sight to behold but I digress! Warning, run on sentence ahead—After the line of parents waiting for their approved badges to be printed after showing their driver's licenses to the administrative staff who KNOW them but are still "required by policy" to "check" their legitimacy to be present for the very teacher conferences they were invited to, I had waited about 10 minutes. So, I approached the front desk to inquire of the Vice Principal when my son's teacher's class had recess so I could deliver the cupcakes to the classroom and set them out for the kids to have upon their return.

At this time, without flinching, the Vice Principal said these words to me. "Mrs. Kirschner, you are not permitted to deliver cupcakes to the classroom per Texas state law which prohibits birthday parties. If you do, we will lose our funding." She went on to add that "Parents just leave them here and we take them for you." At this moment, what I WANTED to say was "show me the law." But what I said instead, to avoid conflict, was a feeble attempt at reason—like, "I'm not here for a birthday party; it's just a snack since he won't be here in the summer." And of course, I cited several examples of having "broken the law" in the past, having brought in cupcakes for every occasion one can think of during public school hours. She would have none of it and swiftly sent me on my way, taking my cupcake container like the Wicked Witch of the West took Toto. I calmly and respectfully walked out of the front office burning to get to the bottom of this "new law" that, with the Obama administration, I wouldn't have been surprised had passed, but had NOT heard of at all—I guess it could have passed while I was learning to read at home (more sarcasm).

I went home and found NOTHING in the Texas school law on bringing in cupcakes or treats for birthdays. However, I did find "Lauren's Law" which specifically SUPPORTED a parent's and/or grandparent's right to bring in foods that fall outside the nutritional guidelines on any birthdays or celebrations for their child. It stated that no school shall make policy that conflicts with that right.

I wrote back immediately to the principal and to my son's teacher. I requested that the teacher please take pictures of my son since I was not "allowed" to be there pursuant to a new "law" that I was waiting to get clarification on from the front office. My son's teacher did not write back. Teachers know not to challenge policy. The principal did not call and I spent the whole day waiting for a response either by phone or email. I called once mid-day and left a message too.

No call, no response. What came just an hour or so before school ended (and obviously by then, I had MISSED the occasion with my son) was a pat little paragraph from the Principal, quoting SquareMeals.com which uses lots of fancy acronyms to tell you what TYPES of foods are not allowed in public schools along with a nice little policy statement of "no more than 3 celebrations" being held during a school year. Did I miss something? That is policy, not law! And remember that little part in Lauren's Law, which is all about the parent's role in providing their child with an acknowledgement of a special day? Since I was simply bringing the "cupcakes" DURING snacktime, I wasn't even interfering or interrupting class instruction time.

It is now 6:37pm central Texas time. I have not been contacted by phone from either the principal or the vp. In light of the many grievances I have witnessed parents go through when they challenge the public schools on anything, I expect I will be told that "I must have misunderstood something." Here is what I have to say tonight. Whenever my or any other child commits ANY grievance against the school, whether it be a tardy, an absence, a playground altercation, I have to explain myself. I have to prove who I am to get into the school, to take my child out of school, to pick him up from school. I get paperwork requiring me to sign, affirm and acknowledge MY responsibility in any mishap.

So, in keeping with school policy since the public school technically works for ME, I am requiring that they be held accountable for causing me to miss a special day in my child's life, and further, for misrepresenting and falsely citing a Texas law that does not exist, for quoting a policy which is not consistently upheld, enforced nor reasonable, as stated in Lauren's Law, does not supercede my rights as a parent. Further, as it is a mere five days before "school's out for summer," I believe I am owed an apology for the proposterous timing of a pompous peacock puffing out her policy packed chest and thinking that I would quietly sulk away in patronized defeat.

Finally, I challenge anyone reading this blog to ask yourself how I might have been treated if I were in a business suit, having obviously taken a 1/2 day off work to come be with my child to honor his birthday "moment." I know the answer to this question. I look the part of a "stay at home" mom, wearing simple jeans, and a t-shirt, hair usually in a clip. I look like I've got "all the time in the world." We (stay-at-homes) get a lot of empty "lip service" about how noble we are, but are truly the last group in America that are a prime target for belittling, intimidation and bullying by an out of control school system that believes they know "better than us." They are wrong.

Moms rule, stupid policies drool and I'm too cool for public school!

Editor's Note: It is important for me to note that I am not a typical "public school hating" home schooler. I am an advocate for education and common sense. I am a concerned parent's best ally and stand beside anyone, public school parent or not, who recognizes and resists the ever increasing policies that are enacted in the school's (not our children's) best interest, separate them from and/or diminish the role of the parent and/or encourage a parent to defer to the expertise of the statist. With that, I hope my comments above do not offend. I recognize that most Americans do not feel that they could capably home school their child, cannot afford private school, didn't get the vouchers they wanted and are "stuck" trying to find the "best" public schools that they can. Progressives have masterfully manipulated parents into believing "they are not qualified to teach their own children" by design and by the ever growing power of the school boards and PTA to decide for our children what is best for them. I hope this changes but for now, I will remain vigilant in looking out for what is in my child's best interest. He is not a number. He is as individual as I am and in America (at least for now), the right of the individual still trumps the tyranny of the socialist collective. Period.